A HOLY COUPLET

A HOLY COUPLET

"While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." (1 Peter 3:2)

THROUGH PETER, THE HOLY SPIRIT offers a word of encouragement to believing wives who may not have believing husbands. Their hearts are not to be weighed down with care, nor are they to allow the wicked one to condemn them because they seem powerless to change the situation. Graciously they are told, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives" (3:1). What a marvelous promise! I know of no other promise from God referring to a person being won "without the word." Even if the promise is taken to be a word from the wives, it is still an unparalleled promise – one in which believing sisters can lead out, setting a precedent for others to follow.

THE "CONVERSATION OF THE WIVES" refers to the obvious direction and commitment of their lives. Other versions read "conduct of the wives," or "behavior of the wives." "Conversation," however, goes even deeper than that. There is a flow to life that is similar to an intelligent verbal dialogue. Like conversation, life has a theme, or main point. There is also a progression in life, in which, like a conversation, it moves toward an end, or conclusion. Just as you can tell what interests a person has by their verbal dialog, so you can learn of a person's concerns by the way they live. In our text, the life lived by a godly wife has such an impact that the husband is "won over without words" (NIV).

IN MY UNDERSTANDING, the words "won," or "won over" are not synonymous with conversion, or being born again. Faith still "comes by hearing," not seeing (Rom 10:17). And men are born again "of incorruptible seed, by the Word of God which liveth and abideth forever" (1 Pet 1:23). We are not to understand that Peter's word is a suspension of that rule.WHAT THE TEXT IS SAYING IS SAYING is that the unbelieving husband will be softened by the way his believing wife lives. He will not be so critical of her, and his ear will be more ready to hear. He will be attracted to the Lord, so as to draw closer, within hearing distance. His spirit will be congenial, as that Centurion was towards the Jews, for whom he built a synagogue (Luke 7:5).

AND SPECIFICALLY WHAT IS IT that the unbelieving husband beholds in the believing wife that has such a powerful effect upon him? It is this holy couplet: "chaste conversation coupled with fear." Other versions read "chaste conduct accompanied by fear" (NKJV), "chaste and respectful behavior," NASB and "purity and reverence of your lives" (NIV).

A CHASTE CONVERSATION," or "purity" of life speaks of an obvious detachment from "this present evil world" (Gal 1:4). Life, in such a case, is lived for the Lord in an apparent way. There is purity of morals, purity of thought, and purity of motives. A certain selflessness characterizes the wife through which the Spirit can work, drawing the unbelieving husband to consider the purpose for which the wife lives. The "chaste" wife has a strict regard for her marriage, and will not defile it under any circumstances. Nor, indeed, will she consent to soil her relationship to the Lord by involving herself in moral or spiritual contamination.

"FEAR" HAS A TWOFOLD MEANING in this text. First, it speaks of a reverence for the Lord. Second it declares a respect for the husband. Both are rendered because of faith, and in deference to the will of the Lord. This "fear" moves them to be congenial and respectful, being a peacemaker and not a troubler. It includes a fear of any sinful stain in any aspect of life. Presumption and self-will are shunned.

FAITH IS WHAT COUPLES "chaste conversation" and "fear." It alone can join these virtues together, causing them to be a powerful witness to the grace of God. To attempt to lead a pure life without a fear of God and the respect of the husband is futile. To make an effort to fear God and be dutiful toward the husband without being chaste is impossible. These virtues must be joined together, and only faith can do that.

IT SHOULD BE APPARENT to us that a "chaste conversion" and "fear" are not to be found in believing wives alone, and that is not the intent of this passage. Rather, these are virtues that are to be common among the saints – even if some of them are wives with unbelieving husbands. The fact that they are coupled is a sterling example of how believing wives are especially rewarded of the Lord.

IT IS COMELY FOR SUCH WOMEN to be followed by others among the saints. The nobility of coupling together chasteness and fear is to be acknowledged as a great work of faith. Perhaps we should also assure them that their husbands are not the only ones who have noticed their "purity and reverence" (NIV). Frequently our own lives have been challenged by their faithfulness under less-than-ideal circumstances. They are a sermon to all who see them, and we are thankful for them. We do not take them for granted, and support them with our prayers. I pay my personal tribute to all such wives.

– Given O. Blakely